There are so many ways to describe the actual act of being alone. Some people seek out alone time to gather their thoughts. Some want to de-stress and feel refreshed. Despite the many positive reasons for wanting to be alone there are always those who find themselves there without wanting to be. When I woke up this morning, that is how I felt. It was painful. It was suffocating. I felt as if I had already drowned and could not get to the surface of the water. I couldn’t breakthrough. I didn’t want to share this feeling I had with anyone. Usually no one wants to hear it anyway. You know–I should just be happy, or “buck up”, or “think of positive things”. Next time one of them breaks their leg, I’ll tell them to think positive thoughts and see if that works for them. 

Why do people refuse to see that our brains are organs and can get sick just as all of our other body parts do??  It’s frustrating to have to deal with this kind of mentality. When you are battling severe depression, the feeling of being alone is all consuming. You wish for someone to care. You wish for the pain to stop. You wish you were different and had a brain that didn’t function that way. You wish you knew what to do. You wish you weren’t depressed. So please tell me– what do I do? 

 

15 thoughts on “Alone”

  1. For lack of a better phrase-“fuck them”. You know what’s going on in your head, you don’t need them acknowledging it to confirm! I’m slowly realising this. Just take one day at a time. You know the signs leading to your depression and the causes (isolation etc) so just do what you can to avoid it. Obviously it’s not that easy but it’s good that you’re talking about it on here! It’s easier to type to anyone then talk to someone specific! I’m always a good listener if needed! MHW💪

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  2. Dying is easy, living is harder (I paraphrase/misquote Hamilton, sorry if I butchered that sentiment!)

    What CAN we do in the face of depression?
    Lying in bed, pushing people away, it’s easier to do than talking about feeling stuck/inferior/sucky…but that’s no way to live.
    Push back a day at a time, one task at a time.

    It’s a never-ending climb (believe me, I’m right there with ya), but sometimes along the trail you encounter random strangers (like me, hellooooooo!) who you can share your pain with.
    No judgement, just compassion.

    Keep writing, draw that pain out one post at a time.
    Isn’t that why we’re here?

    See you around cyberpsace…
    -K

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  3. My heart goes out to you in care and support! Glad you found the courage to write about what you’re dealing with. It is tough dealing with depression for sure, I know… I am here for you if ever need to talk, I’ll listen… I pray for you as well to help ease your heart, soul, mind, and spirit to have breakthrough of peace… You asked what to do? What helped me? Counseling and medicine can be helpful to an extent. But what do you do besides that while you’re alone if there still isn’t the remedy cure you’re needing and want? I wrote in journals and still do. Write about what you’re thankful for and pour out your heart on paper (you can do this daily even); mine was with poetry and now I enjoy this form of communicating so much. You don’t have to make it all perfect, just start with freestyle writing, just words and thoughts, until you can express what you’re feeling more coherently later. I also continuously prayed by casting all my cares and anxieties on the LORD for HE cares and understands, spent time with HIM reading and writing out prayers, and asked for what I needed including taking away the nightmares and for having a sound mind that thinks clearly… HE answered and helped me. I listened to music a lot. You’ll find on my blog a compilation of songs to listen to for encouragement. An important step when you can is to find a way to help and support others. I teach kids and help orphans which motivates and inspires me with a life purpose. You also have a purpose and a hope for a brighter future even if you don’t know what it is yet. At last, but not least, I have a very supportive and loving wife whose helped me so much. If not married, ask HIM for a friend to confide in for extra support. With that being said, I believe the dark times were meant to draw me closer to God and learn to trust in HIS Love which HE has been faithful to do more and more… Now that you asked the question, I need to add this info. to my blog because it is important to know and do… Anyways, You’re loved and valuable… Keep up the fight and be an overcomer…
    https://suicidenotmyheart.wordpress.com

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    1. So much for me digest…. you have no idea how much I appreciate what you have written. I have begun to find support here in this place and it is very nice. I will read and reread what you have written. God Bless!!

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  5. When you suffer from depression it’s often difficult to find people who understand what you’re going through (although the blogosphere is full of good souls and fellow sufferers). Ideally though, you should seek a therapeutic outlet – have regular psychologist appointments to vent, discuss and work on coping skills and self management techniques. I see my therapist once a month and it’s fantastic. 🙂

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    2. Hi there, I really appreciate your blog. You have encouraged me. I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for “The Versatile Blogger” Award. Congratulations!!!

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