Every kind of abuse is horrid. Who can say if one kind is worse than another? 

When I was eleven, I met God. I believed in Him. I believed strongly. This belief guided me through my life. I loved God and I wanted to please Him with all my heart.

As I was growing up, I was described as gullible. I always believed the best about people too. I trusted. I didn’t like hurting people’s feelings.

Using someone’s desire to please God to manipulate them is PURE EVIL  When people hurt others in the “Name of God” — it is a special kind of hurt. It messes with your mind. It twists all you ever thought you were into something you will never recognize.  The innocence of who you were is replaced with a dark reticence that holds you back from being able to believe in anyone. All I ever wanted to do was please God. Be a light to others. That was directly preyed upon.

As I pen these words, I realize how difficult it is to describe exactly how it happened. I will try….. but not today.

6 thoughts on “Still Haunts Me

  1. I cannot in all honesty say that i know what uve been through but i can say that i have felt what it feels like to be abused and used by those who were supposed to protect me. I was said to be too naive. I think i still am and id like to remain that way cause really if i loose that then they win, but i remain cautious now and frankly the majority of the world is not that bad.

    I can tell you that just realizing and disassociating from the cause of the hurt is more than half the battle. If you havent i hope in time you will and learn to cope and heal.

    Take care friend

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I am glad you did. To tell you honestly the day i got rid of them i almost felt that my lungs had opened up for the first time like i was breathing for the first time. Ordinary things like yogurt started tasting awesome. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with you. When someone uses religion to manipulate and abuse others. Well they are no damn good, and may God, if he is up there , condemn them them to eternal damnation.


    Liked by 1 person

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