you know, when i am struggling with depression, i realize how horrible my thoughts become. i see how i pull back from people and turn down offers to spend time with others. why is it that i just want to curl up and hide away? i have talked to many other people who suffer from depression and although no two cases are alike, most can relate to feeling so alone and wanting to hide. for me, part of the reason that i hide from people is because inside my head it feels so dark and so hopeless that i don’t want anyone to know how badly i feel. i am embarrassed to let that part of me be known. i do have a few friends that i can talk openly to and that is helpful; but the part of me that longs to be free of this tangled web of a mind that i have is always crying out for help. it’s here that it becomes more bleak to me. i have been getting “help” for years now and i don’t see where i’m better. it’s beyond frustrating. as soon as my eyes opened today, i felt the fog. it’s so rare that it’s not there.