sometimes i wish there was a place in the middle that i could slip into.
where nothing racks my mind.
a place i can be whole.
i am not fat there.
i am not terrified of dying there.
sometimes i want to be numb.
to protect me from the pain.
sometimes when i look at others,
i wonder what they would think if they knew what was in my head.
i wonder if i will ever be whole again.